Breaking up with Ben was definitely the right thing to do. After leaving him, I realized I had turned a blind eye on some glaring issues in our relationship that would foreshadow our trip to splitsville. I should have noticed that he cared more about himself and his image and not me. Ben particularly didn’t show any support or gave any encouragement towards my publishing career. At parties, he would tout only his latest accomplishments to his friends and I would just stand there…like a trophy girlfriend. Whenever I would bring up my latest accomplishments like getting an informational interview with an editor of a major newspaper or my short story wins a writing competition, he scoffed at my ambition and change the subject immediately, assuming I would eventually give up and end up marrying him.
Admittedly, I did see Ben as some sort of back-up plan/security if I didn’t make it in publishing. But that night when he proposed I saw a future where I would go through a very boring life even with all the financial security. I would be sitting around feeling restless doing nothing in some big penthouse on Tremont Street. I shouldn’t settle for less and I didn’t need Ben to feel safe. I can be my own woman and depend on myself. Even though I would be broke from time to time, I just have to keep on pushing my creativity and ability even more and put my name out there and take some risks. At least I will be making my own decisions and seek some of adventure. Who knows? It might pay back in the end.
If I fail, I would just have to get back up and try again. JK Rowling once said if we go through life without failure, then life would not be worth living. If I don’t try something because I’m afraid of failure, I would then just sit and wonder if I should have tried it at all.
The next morning, I woke up and went for a jog with Phillipe and Kelly Clarkson and Beyonce blasting in my i-pod and obtained renowned energy and motivation.
The break up also opened my eyes and made me aware of the tense work environment of JLS, which is surprisingly changing constantly. Those changes began to signal the internal cracks of the company.
For example, this week, Jodi announced that she was leaving JLS for another job at a smaller venture company closer to her house in Lexington. Her news totally blew me off by surprise. I mean I get people come and go in these corporations but I thought they leave after say five years when they find something better with higher pay or they get promoted to another city. Jodi has only been at JLS for two years. She is really talented and I’ve learned a lot from her in regards to strategic and integrated marketing. Jodi also took a major leadership role in directing a users’ webinar project. So why would she now want to leave a Fortune 500 company like JLS and make less money at a smaller company?
She wasn’t the only one. When I was sorting and placing the mail one day in the mailroom, I noticed one of our software engineers, Kian Schofield’s name was missing from his box. When I asked Mrs. Potts what happened to him. She simply said he left the company yesterday and was going somewhere else and announced out of the blue that he was no longer going to be working for JLS. Hmm..that’s weird. Isn’t an employee supposed to give a 2 weeks’ notice before they actually leave? And what really bothered me…was how Mrs. Potts just said his news so lightly as if it was nothing. I mean like Jodi, Kian was definitely a valuable asset to JLS. He was definitely hard working and dedicated to his projects and very smart. He has a Masters Degree in Engineering from MIT. When I was trying to fix our copy machine that was taking up half hour of my time, Kian just walked in and pressed a few buttons and the machine started working again. I would see him still working out a problem or some sort of equation on a white board in one of the conference rooms late at night. On top of everything else he was doing, Kian would still find the time to help other fellow engineers on their various projects. So how could JLS just let him go?
I wanted to talk to Pippa about this, but she was clearly having problems of her own. Lately, I would see her come out of a meeting with Mr. Byrne, Mrs. Potts and Mr. Cogswirth and be totally overwhelmed. Or I’d see her walking down the halls with Mr. Byrne just nodding with her head down as he kept talking. And I occasionally witnessed Pippa having to suddenly drop a work-related project she was working on and help Mrs.Potts or Lee with some problem their phone or laptop. And it wasn’t their work phone or lap top. It was their personal ones! I thought to myself…hmm isn’t crossing the line? I mean, I get it that Pippa wants to help everyone (She did once help me save my phone from losing all my contacts when it caught a virus)…but not when she’s doing something important for the company. I just hope she doesn’t leave too!