I have been in a slump lately and facing a few setbacks with the publishing industry. Receiving rejection after rejection for jobs. Even though I managed to score some interviews and interviewed well, I would either not get called back for a final interview nor get a job offer. There would always be some other candidate more qualified than me. Another candidate who exuded more confidence and is a better fit for the company or some internal candidate already at the company. I am starting to get really frustrated and miserable. Sometimes I even doubt myself and question whether I’m really good enough.
I don’t understand. I have worked on polishing my resume and revamping my writing samples. I have been going to networking events and doing informational interviews. I have even started joining a toastmasters club to improve my public speaking. Isn’t there someone out there that will recognize my talents and capabilities? Or someone who would give me the chance and train me? I am more than just some receptionist.
On top of that, I was turned down for the technical writer position at JLS (a company I actually work in) even with Tyson’s high recommendation. Mrs. Potts and Rachel decided to go with an external candidate with more skills and experiences in writing despite the fact that I already know JLS inside and outside. Though the person they hired is pretty friendly, I still felt betrayed as I watch this new hire go through the training process and obtaining writing assignments. I felt that person should have been me.
These are times where I wish I had my mother around. I mean my dad’s great and all but my mom, when she was alive, was my true confidant. Whenever I faced troubles in school whether it was bullies, boys or bad grades, she would always be there to comfort me and encourage me to get back up. We would sit at the kitchen table talk for hours. Or we would lie on my bed drinking hot chocolate. My mom was such a positive person who always saw that better things are yet to come. She was my biggest advocate. Her hugs and embraces were so warm and comforting. I just miss her so much.
I am fortunate, though to have someone like Tyson in my corner has been helpful in coping with my struggle. He strongly encourages me to not give up and keep on trying. He really does push me hard to be the best that I can be and stand up for myself and what I believe in When I’m feeling down, I am reminded that he is the reason why I’m standing here. At least I have a job and am still standing. I know what I am capable of and just need to show people that. I also know that failure is part of my growth.
And I know my mom will always be by my side.